“What do you want to be when you grow up?”

This question. It has been asked by adults of kids for generations. Like a genetic trait that we can’t get rid of. How can kids answer this question and why does it matter? My job now didn’t exist when I was a child. Heck, it didn’t exist when I went to University! 

But, kids do answer the question. My daughter says she wants to be mom when she grows up. While it fills my heart, it also fills me with guilt that I haven’t been a good feminist. I remind myself that she is six. Things can change. They sure did for me. 

Bringing stories to life has always been my thing. As far back as I can remember, I have been creating imaginary worlds and fictional characters. Before I could write, I acted out stories with my dolls. They went through all the adventures rumbling through my mind. They were gymnasts, explorers, famous singers. They were part of large families and they had conflicts with friends that they worked out. 

Later, I wrote plays and directed my friends in elaborate stories. We were nurses, brides, flight attendants, and famous actresses. We had socialite parties and family gatherings. I felt most alive being able to tell the stories of others. 

 At summer camp, I took part in a skit with my cabinmates as part of the end-of-week talent show and found that I loved performing in front of an audience and making them laugh. I set my new ambition on acting. 

While there was no doubt that I was drawn to the world of theatre and writing from a young age, I also had a bit of an entrepreneurial mind. 

When I was 10, I came up with a business concept to create a hotel for pets. It would be a multi-story building in which the animals each had their own sleeping room, separate private eating area, and private entrance to the outdoor common swimming pool, grassy field, and doggy beach (apparently, in my mind, this hotel would be in California).  

I wanted an alternative to kennels, because I hated the idea of leaving our own dogs in a place that didn’t treat pets with the love and respect I felt they deserved. I drew my plans for what the hotel would look like with colourful Crayolas and told anyone who asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. 

I figured that I could make enough money from being in movies that I could open my pet hotel business and be an actress. 

Even then I was convinced by the idea of having it all. 

Then, I entered high school. I quickly realized that saying I wanted to be an actress and owner of a pet hotel no longer got me looks of admiration for my pluckiness. Rather, the looks were of concern for the lack of solid ground that I was standing on. 

Ever eager to please, I came up with the idea of becoming a lawyer. It made sense to my strong need for justice and understanding of rules. And, it garnered respect from adults who nodded that it was indeed a valid profession to pursue. 

But it never quite felt right. I liked the idea of wearing expensive suits and fighting for social justice. I liked the idea of knowing the law, but I didn’t want to practice it as a career. 

When I got to university, I was confused and didn’t know what I wanted to do. I was accepted into the Creative Writing program though. I did well, received positive feedback on my writing from instructors and mentors but after three years, I wasn’t sure at the time that I wanted to be a writer full time. 

I doubted my ability to be able to garner enough interesting stories. I guess that was when I first encountered imposter syndrome although I didn’t know it had a name at the time. The other people in the program were different from me. Or, I was different from them. I felt that because I didn’t want to live the life of an introvert dismissing the mainstream world, that I wasn’t cut out to be a full-time writer. 

Years (we won’t say how many) later, I am not a lawyer, actress. Or pet hotel proprietor. Or a full-time writer. I still am passionate about these same things – telling stories (be it on stage or on-page), knowing the rules and being showing respect to animals. 

Thanks to technology, the options for writing have opened up and being able to have a career that includes writing and business strategy are now available. I’ve managed to find a way to write as my job. I was wrong about my perception about writers. It was narrow. But at the time, I hadn’t been exposed to other options. I didn’t realize that I could write but not be a hermit in a cave. 

Adults will probably never stop asking kids what they want to be when they grow up. I hope they stop giving them looks of disapproval or try to persuade them to choose a more practical option. You never know where the world of possibilities will be when they do grow up and exploring different paths will most likely lead them to where they are supposed to be. 

Read:What Makes a Grown-Up from my 40 Before 40 series.