Grocery Shopping During a Pandemic

I had to go get groceries last night. We are stocked up on non-perishables but needed fresh fruit and vegetables. I normally enjoy grocery shopping. Weirdly a lot. My husband gets frustrated at how long it takes me to “pick up a few items” (especially when I luxuriously don’t have the kids with me).

I like the process of systematically checking off items on my list, deciding whether I want a bunch of small bananas or long bananas, which protein appeals to me – seafood, chicken, meat? Those are things I can’t do shopping online. However, online had been my go-to lately given what’s happening in the world but was unable to. 

I had tried to order online with my normal local supermarket but they don’t have any available pick-up times for a month and the other one was over a two-week wait. So I was in Safeway taking one for the team. 

I waited until 7:30 pm hoping it wouldn’t be busy at that time. I was right, it wasn’t but those of us who were there were wearing gloves, trying to smile in distanced solidarity but also side-eyeing each other suspiciously and generally, all looked like we were holding our breath. 

I hated every second of being there. 

When I got in the car I wiped my hands thoroughly and took off my jacket and gloves and put it in a plastic bag. When I got home I left my boots outside and wiped down everything before bringing them in the house. I took a shower and cried. 

Grieving the Everyday Things I Took For Granted

Trying to explain this awful feeling I had to my husband I struggled. What exactly was it that was making me feel so horrible? It wasn’t just the fear of catching the virus. Or the fact that all the shelves that normally hold sugar and flour were bare (it seems baking supplies are the new toilet paper). It was the loss of doing something I normally enjoyed and now dreaded. Of feeling vulnerable and so conscious of my presence in the world and being uncomfortable with it. 

That feeling, my friends, is grief. 

This Harvard Business Review article helped put it into perspective and make me feel like it wasn’t just me feeling it right now. 

“We feel the world has changed, and it has. We know this is temporary, but it doesn’t feel that way, and we realize things will be different. Just as going to the airport is forever different from how it was before 9/11, things will change and this is the point at which they changed. The loss of normalcy; the fear of economic toll; the loss of connection. This is hitting us and we’re grieving. Collectively. We are not used to this kind of collective grief in the air.”

Naming it does help. And accepting that there is a loss. I feel myself moving through the stage of grief and watching my kids as they do too. There have been moments of pure joy at being able to spend more time together as a family and not having to rush and stick to strict daily routines. There have also been some epic meltdowns at not being able to play with friends, hug Nanna, or go very far away from home. 

Finding Meaning in Loss and Social Distancing

What also helps is finding meaning out of all this. My daughter gave me an idea after she and my son spontaneously burst into a rendition of “Some of My Favourite Things” from The Sound of Music (a live show we attended just a few months ago which now seems like a memory from a different time). So here are our lists of things we didn’t know we cared so much about but miss, and things we didn’t notice before we were forced to slow down. 

Things I Don’t Miss:

• Commuting downtown
• Rushing around to different activities
• Being mentally exhausted all the time
• Missing my kids all day
• Feeling like I’m not doing enough
• FOMO

 

Things we took for granted and miss: 

• Eating in restaurants
• Sushi!
• Picking out library books
• Hugging loved ones
• Touching our faces
• Playing with friends
• Learning in a classroom
• Dinner parties
• Movie theatres/live theatre/concerts
• Rec-center swimming pools
• Vacations/travel
• Skiing 
• Ballet class

Things we didn’t notice/have time for before we were forced to stay home: 

• At-home yoga/exercise is fantastic! 
• Living room dance parties are so much fun
• Cooking/Baking together and experimenting with new recipes
• Bike riding every day with no destination or plan
• Building forts outside with blankets and chairs
• Discovering new trails and secret fairy hideaways in the forest
• Talking to neighbours that normally have only noticed in passing
• There are so many crafts you can make with empty egg cartons
• Dried acrylic paint chunks make beautiful artwork
• Sidewalk chalk messages of love and hope
• Writing stories together and illustrating them
• Our family and our health is the most important thing

This list will keep growing. I’m determined to keep looking on the bright side, while also acknowledging the losses. The balance of both is essential, I believe, to coming through this time not only intact but possibly stronger.

What are your favorite things today? In this together apart.

Read more about Social Distancing with Kids in this post.