The 11th annual Strachan Hartley Legacy Foundation (SHLF) Run http://www.shlf.ca/run

is coming up. It’s one of my favourite events of the year not only because it creates such a strong sense of community but because of how this little Foundation that could, keeps on making such an incredible impact.

Shortly after the passing of Dr. Strachan Hartley, his sister Aimee-Noel was determined to make some sense out of the tragedy and began the Foundation in his name with the mandate to “make a difference”. A small group of us joined Aimee-Noel in hastily putting on the first run in just two months in 2007. My favourite comical moment was when volunteer Shannon asked me mid-registration, “So, what would happen if we ran out of bibs?” It wasn’t a hypothetical question. Despite a few hiccups, the overwhelming support from the community made it a success and cemented it as an annual event.

I continued to volunteer on the SHLF events committee for several more years. All funds raised go to Streetfront Alternative – an education program that supports at-risk youth through sport and outdoor activities. So many lives have been changed by this scrappy organization. Make a Difference it has.

Being a part of something much bigger than myself was humbling and so rewarding. To serve others is transformational. It creates a sense of gratitude that spreads. It’s amazing what we can do collectively as a community when we aren’t just thinking about ourselves.

I went to visit my sister Linda and brother-in-law in London to meet my new niece Becca just after she was born. We went shopping one day on Kings Road with Becca in the stroller. We had been in and out of stores and were going to get a coffee when I looked at the top of the stroller. I said, “Oh I didn’t know you bought that!” Linda looked down and saw that she had put a sweater down and forgotten about it and walked out of Marks & Spencer’s without realizing. Mortified, she raced back to the store to return it. Me, being a younger sister and clueless to the absolutely real effects of baby brain, teased her about the event.

Fast forward to my own strollers and shopping with little ones and I can tell you that has happened many, many times to me too. I’m glad my sister is forgiving (that’s what big sisters do) and doesn’t rub it in my face too much that I now forget things all the time. You can’t ever understand what another is truly feeling or going through, but you can always put aside judgement.

I recently went shoe shopping with my daughter. We each picked out a pair. The purple velvet ones with the pearls adorned are not my taste, but she thought they were the most beautiful things she had ever seen.

A matter of perspective. There was a time when I went for the brightest, shiniest of everything too. Now, looking in my closet it’s pretty neutral. In the end I didn’t buy either option. While I couldn’t go quite as far as the extra fancy ones she picked out, I thought, I might do something a little more interesting than boring black.

 

Never let someone tell you can’t do something if you know you can.

 

Pumpkin-spice. Just say the words and you feel all warm and cozy inside, and crave a latte (or a pint). I blame the first day of Fall for my fail yesterday in not posting. Not really, it was just the end of a very long week, but in all seriousness the shift in seasons actually does affect us. With cooler temperatures and less light, we start to desire more sleep, more carbs and an unhealthy amount of binge-watching. I have felt affected by the seasons – especially in the dark, wet/cold days of January. I used to book a trip somewhere warm and sunny every winter for a week to bump the winter blues, but the past five years we haven’t been anywhere. Having small kids that weren’t good in confined small spaces like airplanes, combined with increased expenses has made it tough to get away. It’s made winters very long. It’s forced us to find ways to keep the energy levels up and the mood positive for the whole family. We all have the proper gear for whatever the weather and have made it a rule to get outside every day no matter what. It’s amazing what even a 20 minute walk can do. And when you go in the forest, the trees shelter you from the rain. The hardest part is just making yourself go. But you have to, and that cuddle up by the fire later will feel extra good 🙂

Facebook congratulated me this morning on my 10 year “friendiversery” with the lovely Jess. We have been friends since for much longer, but it’s still nice to be reminded of special people in your life and remember how you really first connected.

We met while traveling in 2001. We hit it off, but as it is when on the other side of the world meeting people briefly, I didn’t really expect to stay friends. I had assumed that we were circumstantial friends – real and meaningful but temporary. I was wrong. We kept in touch at first by email, and phone then she visited Vancouver, and I stayed with her when she ended up living in Ontario. We still regularly talk on WhatsApp. It’s the real deal kind of friendship.

The thing about circumstantial friends is that you can’t tell the difference until the circumstances that brought you together are over. It’s always a wonderful feeling when you realize you’ve got a good friend for life; conversely, it can be surprising when you realize it wasn’t meant to be forever. People come into your life at certain times for a reason. They may come back, or not. Each meaningful connection leaves its mark. And all kinds of friendships are important because they help shape who we are.

 

Last year on the way home from our incredible family holiday on PEI, our camera was lost. I’m still not sure if it was lost or stolen but regardless, it was a pretty devastating loss. We had spent the whole trip taking photos and planning the book we were going to make from them. I tried everything I could to find it – police reports, Craigslist, harassing Air Canada, Facebook lost and found camera sites…it never turned up. We have some photos from other family members who were with us and a few from my phone but that’s it. Newer cameras have WiFi and the ability to track them. Ours didn’t. It is gone for good. But I found a few clever tips on Lifehacker.com for the future so it doesn’t happen again. 1) take a photo of yourself with your email address in case it is found by a good Samaritan so that they can contact you easily to return it 2) put a distinctive mark on the camera so that you can identify if you see it on Craigslist 3) take a picture of your camera and the serial number on your phone or other device so that you can track it. I hope others can learn from what I didn’t do. My kids were too young to really remember it well so we will have to keep telling the story of when we spent the night in a Lighthouse on the tip of Cape Breton

Today, my friend Sarah reminded me of our experience with Beyond Malibu – the Outward bound type of backcountry hiking trip we did when we were 16. So many things were learned during that week in the mountains. It was probably one of the most challenging things I have ever done. Both physically and emotionally.

There were 8 of us in the group plus 2 leaders and everyone had a breaking point during the week. Sarah confronted her very real fear of heights and repelled down a 70 foot cliff. Our other friend Laura was the toughest of the lot and only had her moment on the last day when she reached for her shoelace and pulled a mouse out of her boot (RIP little Mickey). I succumbed early on after hiking in the rain all day and exhausted and freezing couldn’t figure out how to get my tent together.

I got through my breaking point and so did everyone else. There was no option to quit and the group depended on each person to be strong and well, just have your cry and get over it. And coming down the mountain at the end, none of us were the same girls that went up. I had this feeling that if I could do that then I could do anything.

I’ve learned many things from yoga that go beyond the mat.  Most of which took me quite a few years of practicing to actually start to understand. Last week, my yoga teacher and talented colleague Erin said, “Yoga teaches you to be graceful in the most awkward positions.” I think she was talking about Exalted Warrior One, but really the statement transcends the physical stance.

There are many awkward situations in life where somehow you must manage to find some grace – facing a failure, receiving tough news or having a difficult conversation with someone. Not easy, but in the face of adversity some simple things help: breathing, staying present and having intention in every moment.

Intention is mentioned multiple times in a class by most yoga teachers. The goal is to practice yoga, and life with intention. For a long time, I thought it meant just being aware of what you are doing in the moment and not letting your mind wander off to your grocery list or what happened at work that day. It is more. It is about staying present; it is also about having meaning behind what you do and owning your life and the decisions you’ve made and will make.

There is a time and a place for ice cream on a stick. In a mall with a spirited toddler when you still haven’t finished shopping, is not it. (Yes, wine was poured when I got home;)